LOL – I’m sorry I suck so bad at updating the blog. Here’s where we are right now:
Oh hallelujiah! Its up the roller coaster for now, so I’m just gonna enjoy the ride while I can!
So, after sitting in jail for yet another 3 months, he got accepted into the “drug court” program and is currently in a 90-day inpatient recovery program. This is the same place that kicked him out a few years ago after he pissed them off – that was the first time he served hard time in prison – after he got kicked out of rehab they sent him to state prison for over a year. He had to jump through a few hoops to be accepted back there yet again, but they did take him back. He says the first time he didn’t want to be there, and that this time is different – he really wants to be there this time. He is DONE with living his life this way. Although I’ve heard that before so time will tell!
I do see one big difference this time – GOD. I have been praying for a couple of years now for God “to just whisper quietly in his ear – let him know you are here.” And its FINALLY working. He has always had a big problem with believing in a “higher power” – he kind of compared it to Santa Claus – you can’t see him and of course he’s not real, so God must be the same way. Right now, for today, he is changing his tune. His sponsor is talking him into the existence of a “higher power”. Hallelujiah! I’ve been telling him for years that only God can save him now, and I still very much believe that. As is the AA way, God can be “whatever you imagine him to be”. For J, God is that small voice on his shoulder telling him that he shouldn’t do (whatever it is he shouldn’t be doing). In other words, a conscience. Something he has been severely lacking for many many many many many years. Hey man, whatever works for him! For now, for today, for this moment, all is well…
So in order to visit him in the rehab center, you have to sit through a “family class” first. I went last Wednesday and sat through the family class (snore!!! – I could give the damned family class after TEN YEARS of this crap!). There was this poor mother sitting there at her table with a 3-ring binder, a spiral notebook, a book, a bunch of papers and a pen, taking copious notes the entire class and asking many many questions. Poor thing was just trying to find “the answer”. She was trying so hard “to understand”. I wanted soooooo badly to stand up and let her know there was no answer, there is no understanding, and to quit taking notes cuz she wouldn’t ever learn anything that would allow HER to help her son. I felt really bad for her! Should I have said something???