Posted by: addictionstinks | August 15, 2013

The Forgotten One…

There’s so much backstory to this post that it would take half of forever to actually write it all out. Suffice it to say that I’m a little hurt, and have been feeling more and more hurt lately. Why? Because J has become “The Forgotten One”.

When I talk to my family, or even see them, NOBODY (and I mean nobody) EVER (and I mean EVER) asks about J.

“How is J doing?”

“What are J’s plans for when he gets out?”

“Just want to let you know that we think of him often and we are praying for him.”

Or how about even:

“How are YOU doing Carol? We UNDERSTAND this can’t be easy.”

NOPE. NOTHING. J and his addiction have successfully been swept under the rug, where nobody has to think about, talk about, or acknowledge its ugliness.

Nobody mentions him. Nobody asks about him. Nobody cares.

OUCH.

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Responses

  1. they don’t know what or how to say it. kind of like cancer. no one ever asks about my daughter. I think (small town) they already know and would spare me the anguish of answering….

  2. Half of my family pretends he doesn’t exist. I pretend that half of my family doesn’t exist. It works for me.

    • I LOVE that!!!!

  3. I am feeling a bit mixed about thiis. I do not like to share J’s addiction with others in our family. It is not my story to share which is really kind of ironic since I blog about his story on a regular bases. I think I might feel relief if I knew that nobody is going to ask so I don’t have to give vague answers that semi resemble truth in a foggy way. Or maybe I would be sad and insulted??? I am just not sure but my gut tells me it would be relief. Hmm….does that make me a bad mother?

  4. I know that feeling of “ouch” I went through that for awhile with certain people in my family. I like what everyone said here – everyone handles it different. But I think Dawn is right, its like an elephant in the room, people don’t want to bring it up, even though everyone’s aware of it. It doesn’t mean they don’t care, it mostly means they are ignorant to what you and J are going through.

  5. Hope all is well…

  6. It makes me cry when they ask about her so I almost prefer that they do not ask about her. Thanks for sharing this because I can keep in mind that when they do they are probably trying not to hurt me. It is a no win situation all around.


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