Posted by: addictionstinks | December 4, 2012

This Is Fascinating To Me

I saw this website while surfing the net learning more about heroin addiction (knowledge is power!).


Finally, a treatment program that doesn’t subscribe to the BULLSHIT that “this is a disease”, and “he can’t help it”.

I’m sorry, but EVERY TIME my son has relapsed, he has made a CONSCIOUS DECISION to do so. After being clean for YEARS after being incarcerated, one day he woke up and said, “I want to use today” and then set off to put his plan in motion, which included CONSCIOUSLY stealing something from me, CONSCIOUSLY calling his friend for a ride to the pawn shop, CONSCIOUSLY pawning MY PROPERTY, and then CONSCIOUSLY riding in the car to Chicago to CONSCIOULSY pick up heroin, after which time he CONSCIOUSLY put it in a needle and into his arm.

Go ahead and convince me that he “couldn’t help it”. At any point during this whole event, which took HOURS to accomplish, he could have said, “NO” and stopped what he was doing.

This may be a very controversial post, but I do not and will NEVER buy into the bullshit that an addict cannot help what they are doing.

Which is why I will NOT bail him out, and I will NOT send him to a regular treatment center, where they will teach him that he is “powerless over his addiction”. BULLSHIT.




  1. Amen!

  2. I just went and looked them up. While I think their philosophy is right, there are quite a few complaints. Seems to me the complaints center around the addict not cooperating and the family not being refunded the 10k.

    • If the addict is uncooperative, do you think they should refund their money? Been there, done that. J got kicked out of his 90-day rehab after 60 days because he was uncooperative. I didn’t pay (cuz I won’t!) – it was a state-paid rehab, but I’m pretty sure the state didn’t get their money back!! Again, the addict is CHOOSING to be uncooperative, so why should they be refunded???

  3. I have always believed that there is no “one size fits all” recovery program. What I also believe is , that no matter what type of program is done, the addict has to truly want it and NOTHING will work until that happens. I think that a person becomes an addict by first initially making the choice to try whatever but I also think that once the drug is in their system, there is brain chemical alteration. Some people don’t have it happen and some do . This is just my opinion on things so far in this crappy journey we all are sharing.
    That being said, I wish I could give you a big giant hug. Your posts have helped me in my learning process and I value your insights. Please take care of yourself.

  4. What Sheri said is so true. The second time my son relapsed I desperately searched for a rehab that I thought would help him the most. In my search I thought I had found the perfect treatment center and when I talked to my son about it he said No. It was about $25,000 and he said that it didn’t matter how much I paid. He wanted to get sober but he didn’t want to have the burden of his parents spending so much money trying to fix him. I’m so I glad I listened to him even though I told him we would help him only if he would go where we wanted him to. We sent to a program that costs us $3500 instead and he stayed sober for 7 months before relapsing again. We finally figured it out and let him seek help on his own when he wanted and needed to. He is now in the Savation Army program and was homeless in a shelter just prior to going in. He knows that we love him and support him in his sobriety but will no longer pay for any treatment. I truly believe that an addict will not stop using until they make the decision not to and for most of them it takes suffering the consequences of their actions and being homeless for them to do that. I do think that when they are active in their addiction that they are not the same person and they have chemical changes in their brain that contribute to this. I don’t feel sorry for my son but I do think he does not want to be an addict. I’m sure it is the same for your son. I hope and pray he finds his way out and you can make peace with all that you have been through.

  5. Parents in my group sent their daughter to that rehab. They loved it, as they didn’t buy into the disease theory. Their daughter got clean and stayed clean for two years before relapsing. Her relapse was short lived, and she agreed to enter a sober home (12 step) in another town (the same property where my son is currently living, only in the women’s home). She has been there for over two years and is the house manager. She is doing great. Was what she learned at St Jude’s the ticket? Or was she just ready to play along? Who knows?

    Just something that might make you a bit more compassionate to your son’s addiction issues…Last April I completely gave up sugar. I didn’t have a huge sweet tooth, but one of my hobbies is sugar cookies (making, decorating) and well..a taste here and there was not helping me. Plus, I’ve come to learn that sugar is the number one addiction in this country, and many believe it is the root of most disease. So I went cold turkey on Easter Day 2012. Sugar has not passed my lips since that day. The (hardcore) cravings left after a week or two, but as the holidays are here, I find myself actually dreaming about cookies, pie, ice cream, candy. The sweets commercials nearly make my stomach ache with desire, and I was not a hardcore “user”. My husband quit sugar at the same time. We often talk about a planned splurge (warm chocolate chip cookies and milk). I guess this would be my relapse? I’m afraid to do it, as I’ve come so far. I know enough about addiction to know that I can’t just “use” once, but my brain tells me to go for it…my friends tell me I’m crazy and to just eat a cookie. I spend quiet moments planning my binge. I read baking blogs, for the love of GOD!

    The holidays are SO hard because my typical Christmas gifts for my staff are my cut-out cookies. The teachers depend on this gift. They talk about my cookies all year. I’m terrified about even attempting to make them this year. So far I have stayed strong and not given in to the cravings… even through Halloween, where every single one of my students brought me a treat of some sort. I gave all the goodies to a co-worker, and nearly cried. I will admit to sniffing the cupcakes a bit to anxiously before turning them over with shaky hands. I try to just stay focused on my new found health, my thin waistline and my improved fitness level. Today is a good day. 🙂

    A consequence of all this suffering is I have a new understanding of my son’s addiction and how hard it must really be to stay clean. Think of all the beer commercials, movies with drug themes, songs, friends, etc. It must be hell!!!
    I am proud of every day that he makes the choice NOT to use when every fiber of his body says GO FOR IT.

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