Posted by: addictionstinks | May 16, 2012

Up The Roller Coaster, Down The Roller Coaster

It certainly is a roller coaster ride, this whole addiction thing.

Now he claims he’s not using anything at all – not even smoking pot. He has decided that it’s not worth it, and he wants to get off parole a year early (that would be August).  As long as he’s smoking pot – and he does admit to his parole officer that he’s smoking pot, because he knows if the guy pee-tests him he will fail anyways – he will not be let off early. In fact, the parole officer has declared he wants him to go for YET ANOTHER drug and alcohol evaluation (these are THE STUPIDEST waste of money ever – he likes drugs – DUH! Thank you Captain Obvious!)

My last little outburst was after I found him talking to a friend on Facebook who is a known heroin addict, and telling her to contact him RIGHT NOW. This was right after he pawned the toolbox full of tools that his father bought for him. Gee, I wonder what he wanted??? If it looks like a rat, and smells like a rat, and walks like a rat, its probably a rat!! He claims he wanted to see how she’s doing because she just got out of rehab. I’m not buyin’ it, and have been watching verrrrrrrry closely for any signs.

I totally frickin’ HATE that I cannot trust my own kid. That I have to be on the lookout all the time. That we can’t just enjoy a life together as most families do. Its truly ridiculous.

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Responses

  1. I hate it too. And I hate to say that I agree with you – his behavior is screaming “I’m using!”. Its so hard to accept it sometimes even though our brains are filled with knowledge and experience, its still hard to believe that our child is up to no good AGAIN.

    Over the last 6 months or so I’ve realized that I may never have the same relationship with Keven. Its like mourning a child that is still here. It sucks.

    I’m thinking about you.

  2. As bad as I feel for Mary and her parents (and I do feel bad for them), it is important to remember that Mary has ‘a brain’ of her own and that drugs are everywhere!!! She made her own choice to use! Yes, hanging around with someone like your son, who is a user, would definitely increased her chances of using…but hanging around with a user is also a choice. It’s just sad that another young adult has taken ‘the leap’ or ‘plunge’ into drug addiction. Prayers being said for all involved!


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