Posted by: addictionstinks | April 25, 2012

I Suspect

He may be using again. Heroin.

I don’t like what I’m seeing. He’s been “sick” (vomiting) twice this week. He blamed it on “eating the expired roller grill items at work.” (He works at 7-11). Sleeping – like all the time. Crabass!! Itching. He’s quit his automotive classes, and blew off psych yesterday (he was “sick” again). The paycheck – gone in a matter of seconds. He says he “owes people” from several months ago, but won’t say for what. And yesterday he “scratched his arm on he-doesn’t-know-what at work” right in the fold of the elbow.

His girlfriend texted me at 3:30 am “I think J is using heroin again”. She said he was “sick” and “sweating profusely” when she stopped by his work the other day.

So, now the question is: Do I confront him on this myself, or simply quietly call his parole officer and tell him to stop by with a drug test. My head says call parole, my heart says for me to speak with him first. I know I should listen to my head. If he pees dirty he’s going back to prison for the rest of his sentence – 1- 1/2 years.

Dammit.

 

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Responses

  1. Oh wow. This made my heart sink. How long has he been clean? I hate to say it but it sounds like he’s using. They must know we know, right? This is a tough decision you have to make. If you need to talk more, email me, ok?
    I can’t give advise but I get it. 😦

  2. He’s been clean for 2-1/2 years. Two of them were spent in rehab and then prison. He’s been out of prison for 8 months.

    • That’s what I thought. DAMN IT. I want to say something like “maybe he is sick….” but the things you mentioned are such obvious signs. I’m so sorry. Why oh why is this such a difficult thing to overcome even with so much time clean? Its got to be ten times harder on you as a parent than on someone like me who has never seen more than 3 months clean. I’ll be thinking of you today. Maybe just ask him???

  3. If 2 people come to the same conclusion, it’s probably not fiction. If he is living in your hose and using, I would do anything and everything to get him out. Buy a drug test and have him take it when he gets home. If it’s positive, well you know what to do. Whether he tells his PO is his deal unless you have an agreement as part of his living arrangement with you that you will tell his PO that he is using if you suspect it. I am sorry you are going through this. I know it is hard.

  4. If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, quacks like a duck… Guess what? It’s a duck. I HATE THAT FREAKING DUCK. Why do we doubt the obvious…I think it is because we want so badly to believe everything is fine until we just can’t.

  5. This is just my personal, less-than-two-cents worth. I would call his parole officer and ask if they are open to input from the family, stating that you know they cannot discuss his business with you. But they can LISTEN. Our officers have always welcomed any input we gave. Once they guaranteed anonimity, I spilled. I have had her arrested this way and I will NEVER regret it, even if she finds out and hates me for it. It stops the cycle right there. For me, that was worth everything. Detoxing before she was too far into it again. Getting time to think and realize where that one relapse took her. Coming out of incarceration with renewed resolve. I would not hesitate to do this again. I know that I may have to. The reason I would request anonimity is so that the family is seen as supportive and loving, and the parole officer is indeed seen as the enforcer. Our addicts are used to being requested to come in for an unexpected test, or being dropped in on, at work or home for a test. They know it can happen at any time. Consequences. I really would shut that damn duck up one way or another, but that’s just me. My girl is being somewhat reticent and my radar is up…. she is now off parole. LeBoyfriend is not. I will not hesitate to contact his officer, if I reach a point where I think there is reason. She’d go down in the process of him being checked out – and that means an end to a relapse and more time for her to think/contemplate her next steps. I’m angry with this disease. I stay angry with it! Anyway, just my thoughts. My prayers continue!

  6. shit shit shit. I’m ANGRY with this disease too ! I’m going to be praying for him, and for you.


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