Posted by: addictionstinks | June 5, 2011

Just Want My Baby Home

At this point this sentence has become long enough. For all of us. J has just over 2 months left. He’s becoming anxious (and a bit cranky). I miss him. My other kids miss him. My husband even said yesterday, “This is gonna sound weird, but I just want him home.” No, it doesn’t sound weird at all. He misses his garage buddy. The two of them have everything in common, and I think Hubby really misses getting greasy and dirty in the garage together. They are making their plans to attend the Nascar race and camp in the infield in the motor home.

We are all ready. After Hubby made his comment yesterday, my youngest son who heard says, “yeah I miss J too.” The fact that he’s 6 hours away one direction does not help, as we rarely even get to visit him.

This is going to be a delicate balance between welcoming him back with loving arms, and keeping him at a certain distance at the same time. I don’t want to give him too much right away, because in the past if we gave, he took and took and took. And I cannot have that again. Our original plan was to set him up in an apartment near the school he wants to go to, but I’m not sure that’s going to work anymore. We haven’t sold my studio yet, and the money is not going to be there to help him with the apartment until he can find work. So he may end up staying here at home for longer than originally anticipated.

It’s kind of odd because at this point it’s me being the strong one. In the past it was alway me who wanted to bail him out, or help him out. But not anymore. Now I say “let him figure it out on his own” and my husband says, “are we still gonna help him get his driver’s license back?” which entails paying off his fees and fines. I’d rather not, but hubby says we should. We live out here in the sticks, so a driver’s license is pretty imperitive, but still…

I don’t know what will happen. Time will tell.

Where there is life, there is hope. That’s all I need to know right now.

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