Posted by: addictionstinks | November 29, 2010

Broken Heart

Is it possible to have a broken heart? Is there really such a thing? I ask because I’m having some health issues right now with my heart, and it just feels broken. Here’s the backstory:

I went to the Walgreens clinic on 11/17 because my sinus was killing me. The doctor there informed me that my blood pressure was through the roof, and that I have a heart palpitation thing going on. So I followed up with my regular doctor, and sure enough, my blood pressure is through the roof, and my heart is throwing off extra beats. So I’ve been put on high blood pressure meds, and tomorrow I get to go to the cardiologist to have a Heart Echo test done, and get hooked up to a Holter monitor for 48 hours, in an effort to try and figure out what’s going on.

So, my heart is broken, apparently in more ways than one. I’m sad that J is gone, in prison, another holiday season. That’s two Christmases now with him incarcerated. I miss him so incredibly much. It hurts so bad that I can’t see him. I’m crying right now – again.

And I’m scared. I’ve already outlived my mother who died of breast cancer at 46 years old. My father had his first heart attack at age 40. Heart disease runs in our family, on my dad’s side.

Prayers to all of you who are missing your addict/loved ones during this holiday season. It really stinks!!



  1. I so feel for you. This will be the 5th holiday season without my daughter and she is not even incarcerated. I will buy gifts for 2 kids on the angel tree at Walmart because I have never met my two grandchildren and I can’t give them presents. Yes, you can have all kinds of health issues from worrying about your loved ones. There is only one answer: take care of yourself, noone else will. Please do it for yourself and the ones you love. It is really the only thing you CAN do. Sending you hugs and prayers. Helga

  2. praying that you are okay, and if it’s not your heart, have the check for severe anxiety (yah, whoda thunk that WE ever would suffer from severe anxiety???). after one heart attack and about a thousand THOUGHT i was having a heart attack, they diagnosed me with severe anxiety disorder. xanax and high blood pressure meds and i am fine now. wonder where the anxiety disorder came from?????

  3. Praying for you, dear friend. Praying that the results of your tests were favorable and helpful in aiding the doctors in treating your condition. And praying that you can let go of fear. Also praying continually for J.

    In Him,

  4. I pray that you heal quickly, that J is healing and that you try to have less fear and more peace! Sending light and love!

  5. I’m so sorry your heart hurts….I hope that the doctor finds nothing seriously wrong with you, I think us mothers understand where your broken heart is coming from. I wish I could hold your hand and hug you right now.

  6. I hope that you will take care of yourself. Stress can be a killer.

  7. Find a support group, surround yourself with people who are positive, loving, and make you feel good. Realize that medicine has advanced so much further than it was in our parents day. Make sure you have a doctor you trust and can talk to. If you don’t, find another one. Take it one day at a time. Work through your fear and anxiety with a sponsor, trusted clergy friend, someone who has been through this. Ask for help. Accept help. Keep blogging. Be kind to yourself, above all. It will be okay…I promise.


  8. Anxiety and stress effects me profoundly. When this whole addiction thing started I was 35 pounds heavier. My doctor said if I lost a little weight my blood pressure would probably go down. Guess what I dropped weight quickly from stress/anxiety and my blood pressure continued to climb. I take one tiny little pill a day and it keeps my blood pressure in check…not a big deal in the long run. The only perk I ever got from this chaos called addiction is that I weigh the same thing I did before I got married and can wear skinny jeans. Nice….right? not really it came at a VERY high cost for us all. Take care of your self…you deserve peace. We all do.

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