Posted by: addictionstinks | September 27, 2010

Where Do My Loyalties Lie?

So, the more I think about this whole thing with Patsy having a new boyfriend, the more I realize I am mad! She kinda did this backwards. Last week she “loved” my son, this week she’s found somebody new, so its “see ya later alligator!” Not only that, but she’s cheating on my son!!

As you know, I moved Patsy in here after she graduated high school in May. This puts me in a very awkward position now. She’s living in my house and cheating on my son. Where does that leave MY loyalties? As far as I”m concerned, my loyalties must remain with MY family – my son. So where does that leave Patsy? Do I just kick her out? Not help her anymore? We had an appointment set up for Oct. 7 to talk to the employment office about getting her the grant money to send her to the dog grooming school. Do I now not take her? Cuz if I do take her, and they give her the money, does that mean I’m still supposed to drive her school every damn day?

I was willing to do this when she was my son’s fiance (yes, they were gonna get married). When what I was doing would help her, but would also help J when he got out. The plan was to get her schooled, employed and living in a place so J could go and live with the girl he’s loved for the last 4 years when he gets out. But now???????

I’m really caught in the middle here! In a very awkward position. NO WAY do I want her hanging out at my house with the new boyfriend. A-W-K-W-A-R-D! So now what????

Edited to add: I just found out that the new boyfriend is an addict as well, with only nine days clean! This could help me make up my mind. Talk about jumping out of the frying pan and into the fire on Patsy’s part!



  1. I think that keeping one’s word is important. She is being truthful (hopefully) about the new boyfriend. It is okay to set boundaries with what she can and can’t do in your house. Helping someone in need is a good thing as long as they are doing what they can to get on their feet and aren’t being enabled.

    • Uh yeah, just found out that he’s an addict too. Nine whole days clean!! Not sure I wanna deal with that crap around me anymore. That may be the catalyst to making my decision.

  2. I say kick her ass out. Maybe not my most compassionate response, but when I read that the new guy is an addict too its obvious that this girl is messed up and you don’t need a messed up person around your other kids…

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