Posted by: addictionstinks | August 4, 2010

Pain and Anguish

I’ve been running through everyone’s blogs tonight and reading. I’m sorry, I haven’t taken the time to comment. Its late and I’m tired, but I wanted to catch up anyways.

Its amazing to me the pain and anguish that is out there. All these hurting parents, on different paths of recovery, and in different places in their child’s addiction and/or recovery. Oh, if only we could bottle all that pain and anguish, and send a dose to all of our children. That they may see the hurt they have caused, not only to their own parents, but to understand the deep deep hurt that addiction causes to all parents. My heart truly breaks for every one of you.

I finally spoke to J today. We haven’t spoken in over a month. I was on vacation, and he was on C Grade in prison, apparently for failing to line up for his meds 3 days in a row. He chose to sleep through med line, and they put him on C Grade, which meant he wasn’t allowed to phone anyone for 30 days.

He had a court date. This is just amazing to me. 5 minutes in court, and he had to spend 12 days back in Stateville in receiving to go there. WTH?? I don’t get that! But whatever! He is back at his parent prison as of today. The court date was for breaking his other probation that he was on in the other county. They will run it concurrently with this sentence, so apparently it has little affect. He said they may add 15 or 20 days onto his sentence only.

He has asked that Patsy and I go visit him next Thursday. It is his and Patsy’s 4-year anniversary of being together. In my last post, I mentioned that Patsy said she wanted to break up with him. It seems she is changing her mind. Now she tells me she’s going to give him “this one last chance” when he gets out of prison. Whatever……… I can’t tell her what to do.

J also told me that he is going to ask for work release. IF it is granted, he would leave the prison during the day to work, and then spend the nights there. We shall see. I don’t know if they will grant it, but he does have the fact that he’s a non-violent offender on his side. And that this is his first time in DOC.

Prayers for all of you continue. May you find your own happiness/peace/God’s love.




  1. Thank you for updating us. Since addicts are totally self centered, selfish people, I wonder if the pain they cause us means anything to them. I have been in Germany for the last two weeks and badly neglected my blog. I shall catch up when I get back. As far as J is concerned, I feel that our addicts create their own jail sentences. Those are the consequences they have to live with. The best thing we can do is just to take care of ourselves. Hugs and prayers.

  2. Praying for you and J. Thanks for the update

  3. I hope that things will work out, but am glad that you are taking care of yourself. There isn’t much that you can do for J. except tell him you love him.

  4. Good luck with the visit. I sense your tiredness (or is it just me?) 🙂 Thinking of you.

  5. I missed hearing from you! Thanks for the update.I am a little sad to hear Patsy is going to give him another chance but I applaud your attitude that it is her life…cause you are right on all counts.

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