Posted by: addictionstinks | June 12, 2010

I Need I Need I Need

Well the eerie silence of when he was in holding at Stateville is now officially over! His list of “I Needs” include:






A Hot Pot

A Fan

A Light

A Television Set

A Walkman

The phone calls have started with the “I Need” list, over and over and over again. I did send him a little money so he could get socks, T-shirts, and underwear. A Television set? Don’t think so!! “Why not Mom?” “Cuz this is NOT supposed to be the Holiday Inn!” A Walkman? Don’t think so!! Maybe I will send him a little more money to buy himself a fan – they have no air coniditioning in the joint, and its been stinkin’ hot here already this year. He can purchase a small personal fan for about 12 bucks.

I’m beginning to wonder why on Earth I was missing hearing from him while he was in Stateville!!

Patsy update: I took her to the community college yesterday to speak with them. It sounds like they have some nice programs in place to deal with those that have learning disabilities. We’ve decided together to start her off very simply with ONE math class in the fall, and work up from there. This way she can concentrate on only the math, without worrying about having homework in English and Science, etc. as well. Hopefully this will help dispel some of the math phobia and she won’t become discouraged. We talked to the Access Center (for disabled students) as well as Financial Aid (need more paperwork filled out by her mom). I had to get her parents’ tax return for financial aid – OMG, I have no idea how that family managed last year – the income listed was just over $15k for the entire year. This had to feed, clothe and house SIX people!! Yikes!!! In the meantime we’ve also discussed attending Dog Grooming school. There are programs in the area, but none of them close by. The nearest would be about an hour’s drive in each direction. Blah! Since she doesn’t yet have a driver’s license that could be a problem.

She will start tomorrow at her volunteer position at the therapeutic horse barn. I’m excited to see her do this, and she’s very excited to go! Meanwhile, the job search continues for a paid position somewhere, anywhere. Its tough out there!!! Please pray that she can find employment quickly.

Oh, and J sent her this awful, nasty, spewing hate letter from jail. It was really really mean!!! He talked to her on the phone between the time he mailed it and she received it, and he forewarned her about it, apologized in advance and asked her to just throw it away without reading it. I explained to Patsy that all the hate in the letter was NOT directed at her, but really to himself, and she understood that, and was not upset by the letter. She understood that he was just spouting off crap from jail. I on the other hand, was pissed off!! When he called me he got an earful!! I advised him that this is the type of letter that you write, then rip it up and throw it away without ever sending it. Yes its good to get that anger out, but then throw it out, so you don’t have to hurt your girlfriend’s feelings with it. He agreed, and is quite remorseful over sending it.

Oh, and one more biggie (this post is getting long – sorry!). HE QUIT BITING HIS NAILS!!! This is HUGE for J!!! He’s been biting his nails, to the point of bleeding, all the way to the quick, nothing left for as long as I can remember. He hasn’t bitten them in over a week, and can now see some whites on the tops of some of them. This is huge in his own mind because I think it proves to him that he CAN stop bad habits. Anything is possible with a little determination!!



  1. Good for you on the boundaries about the TV, walkman, etc.

    I’m glad that things are looking up for Patsy.

  2. My daughter is in treatment right now and I just dread when the phone rings and I see private caller. I get the “I need” at least once a day.
    Glad to hear about Patsy. I’m praying that she finds employment soon.

  3. Praying for you all! Over all, things sound more positive than negative.


  4. Sounds like J is doing fine where he is at the moment….I hope this helps to relieve some of your worries!

    So happy to hear that things look positive for Patsy!! It does my heart good to hear happier stories of kids like Patsy with people like you in her life!! What did you end up doing for her graduation? How did that all turn out?

    • Hi Kristi! I couldn’t make it to her graduation ceremony, as my own son graduated on the same day. But we did go to her party (a friend of the family had it at her house). It was nice, although the house the party was at was NOT nice! Messy, scummy, disgusting. We just stayed outside – LOL.

      • Oh, duh. I’ll bet you’re asking about the gift!! I gave her a card, with a coupon I printed up on my computer for a day of shopping to get school/interview/work clothes and school supplies. Of course, her mother looked at the coupon and asked, “So can I take this and use it to go shopping somewhere?” ARGH! This is why NO CASH was given!!

  5. I agree with Syd, way to go sticking to your boundaries about the TV, etc. I too am glad that things are looking much more positive for Patsy.

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