Posted by: addictionstinks | April 27, 2010

Mommy, Save Me!

I got the call today. I’ve been expecting this, since getting the petition to revoke in the mail yesterday.

He found a rehab that has a bed. BUT, its not state paid. His insurance would pay for it, except for the $2500 deductible.

Mommy, save me! Pay the deductible!

Uh, no! Probation was perfectly content knowing that he was looking for a bed and waiting for him to find one. That is, until he flunked the piss test. Now he’s in a pickle, and wants the money to get to rehab TOMORROW so he doesn’t have to appear in court on Friday, cuz its not gonna be good.

I said no. He hung up on me. Then proceeded to argue with me via text for another hour. I explained my position, and why I was taking that position (the only reason I do this is so that he can hopefully learn from what I’m saying). I did NOT argue, I simply said, “No, and here’s why.”

Oh, and I have an appointment Friday morning that I cannot cancel, so I let him know that I would not be available to take him to court. He’ll have to find his own ride.

Its funny – he could find rides to get drugs always. He could find money to get drugs always. But when it comes time to find rides for court, or money to save himself, he can’t manage to do that? I don’t get it.

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Responses

  1. I feel as though I’m reading my own story with my son….thanks for posting, I don’t feel so alone!

  2. I think that it’s about being selfish and choices. Yes, he can get just what he needs when he wants it but not pay the piper when the time comes. Selfish behavior from the addicted person is usual. Glad that you stuck to your boundary.

  3. Good for you sticking to your boundaries and taking care of yourself. I know you are angry, but sometimes the anger helps us stay strong when we most need to. My son is always selfish when he is using, all addicts are. They will do just about anything to get the drugs. My prayers and thoughts are with you.

  4. LOL. totally typical. I love the title…MOMMY!! SAVE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

    nope!! sorry, been there, done that, got the t-shirt.

    Good for you!!

  5. Getting drugs, when they are actively using drives every bit of their behavior. Getting drugs is more important at that moment than anything. Our addicts can’t think about ethics and morals, love and caring, the pain and suffering they have caused; and because of that, they can’t even understand why we (the parents and loved ones) start setting boundaries at some point. It is totally an inability to comprehend.

    I think you have done great in setting a boundary that you can live with; and it sounds like you are sticking to it. And as you continue to work on this, for you, you will find you no longer get sucked in to the 1 hour text arguments, phone calls etc. The “spin” will stop. I think that brings a lot of relief to the situation.

    And I hope for you that at some point you will be able to let your anger go as well…for your own long-term health and well being. You continue to be in my thoughts and prayers.

  6. Got the T shirt and burned it! Good for you. I know how hard it is, but it needs to be done. You are on the right track!

  7. Great job sticking to your boundaries.

    Praying for you all,
    Cheri

  8. I know this wasn’t easy.
    Sending love, hugs & prayers!

  9. I like what Lisa said and agree with all the others that said “good for you” for sticking to your boundaries.

    So easy to get a ride to buy drugs….just find another addict. A ride to court requires a true friend, not so easy to come by unfortunately.

  10. Yeah I never get the “his money is his but my money is ours”…why is that?

  11. Oh wow! I was grinning on your behalf when I read this. Good for you! I know it was hard, but still, you had such a clear view of exactly what was going on, and you stuck to your boundaries and did not even think about changing your Friday morning responsibilities – Yay! Your life, your personal obligations, are important too! You are so right, that if it was drugs he needed to get to, he’d find a way…

    Nevertheless, I will still be praying for him and you. (hug!)


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